Funny Happenings

   Last week was slightly hellish, this week seemed filled with funny little happenings. I don't have any pictures to document these things, and considering what they are it is probably a good thing. I will be quick with the details:

   On Tuesday Oliver jumped out of his crib. He had just woken up, we heard just a few shouts over the monitor and then a CRASH. I ran into his room and he was face down on the floor. I have no idea how he got over the side of the crib, and also no idea how he avoided smashing himself on the corner of the dresser. He seems to be uninjured though, so that is all that matters. Unfortunately about ten minutes later, he fell off my bed as well. Who says lightening won't ever strike the same place twice?

  On Thursday three things happened:
  He got bit by another kid at daycare. The teachers claim to not know exactly who did it because they didn't see it happen. But I can say from the bite mark that whoever did it has a serious set of chompers. Not all kids his age have all their teeth, but this one did. Oliver had a nasty dark red bite mark on his arm. I know kids sometimes bite, but if I find out who this tiny Hannibal Lecter is, I just might bite him back.

   The second noteworthy happening occurred that same night. He was taking his bath and took a dump in the tub. I don't need to describe it, but it was gross.

   After that unpleasantness, as I was putting his pajamas on I noticed that he has the first sprout of his first molar! Poor guy, that must have been what ruined him last week. I wish I could tell him that the worst is behind him, but I think it is only beginning. Do they make IV drips of Infant Ibuprofen?

It's just a phase, I call it "Being an Asshole."

When taking a walk,
never forget your bucket.

    This past week, Oliver has been a total asshole. I hate saying that about my sweet little dude. I'm not sure using those kinds of words to describe my child is a good parenting choice. But just between you and me, he's been a total dick this week. I am going to put my conscience at ease by prefacing this post with the statement that I never call him that to his face and I try to not use those words in his presence. TRY is all I can commit to right now. 

   I don't know what is going on with him that is causing this phase of discontent, but the dude is not pleased. I'm sure there is some reason: he just sprouted a new tooth, and there are probably more on the way. He is going through a growth spurt. He had a touch of a cold. Blah, blah, blah, isn't that how it ALWAYS is with kids? He is 16 months old, there is never a time when he hasn't had one of those things going on. If he isn't sick, he's teething, he just got shots, he crapped his pants, SOMETHING is always messing with him. Being a baby is hard. But usually he tolerates it pretty well. For example, last month he had some kind of virus and ran a fever for ten days straight and was not even half the jerk he's been this week. Usually, the kid is pretty happy.

   Not this week. From the moment he wakes up he's pissed. And I should mention, he has been waking up super early. Today I heard him awake at 4:50 AM. Usually he might wake up that early, but within a few minutes he will go right back to sleep. Not today. He yelled and screamed in his crib until I finally dragged myself from my bed to go to him at 5:30. It is serious torture to have to miss the last half hour of sleep. That last half hour is so precious, and I think the bed gets more comfortable the closer you get to your alarm going off. No use in whining about it though because Oliver is already whining and he is much better at it then me. His whining is much louder and sounds like an injured dinosaur.

ON the table is the only acceptable place
to eat one's crackers.

    The dinosaur screech has become his main mode of communication this week. Normally Oliver is quite competent verbally. He knows lots and lots of words and mimics constantly. He is good about pointing at what he wants and saying please and thank you. His thank you sounds like "hank hew," it is absolutely adorable. But not this week. Words have escaped him. All he is able to do is shriek and yell NO. He only wants things he isn't allowed to play with. He ABSOLUTELY has to play in the kitchen knife drawer or in the cabinet of heinous chemicals. And when those things aren't made available to him immediately, he screams and cries and acts like you are abusing him. When he does point at something that is safe and acceptable to play with, as soon as you hand it to him he shoves it away and shrieks NO! Then cries like you are abusing him. It is a no-win situation. I totally understand why parents give their kids horrible sweet treats or let them play with the I-pad just to get them to shut their yell-holes.

    At daycare his teachers say he is just fine. Great actually. No problems. He eats well, he sleeps well, he's a joy to have around. I know this happens a lot, its quite common actually. The kid saves his breakdowns for home and is awesome around strangers. How is this fair? I'm the one who birthed him and nurtured him with my body. I'm the one who rocks him to sleep and soothes every tear. My every waking hour revolves around him, and that is how he rewards me? I know this behavior is very natural, but that doesn't mean that its cool. I'm told that I should take it as a compliment because he feels comfortable enough with me to express his true feelings and frustrations. Talk about a shitty way to compliment someone. Imagine if adults functioned like that: "Hey best friend! I smashed your glasses and took a dump on your pillow. 'Cause I LOVE YOU!!!"

Be my chair mama.

    Lets hope this jerk phase ends quickly and my sweet funny guy comes back to me. Maybe this weekend is going to be great, or maybe I will pick him up from daycare and he will give me one of his awesome slobber-kisses and we will go home and play like we used to do. I know this is only temporary and with it comes growth and possibly new teeth. In the meantime I hope my patience holds out and make frequent stops for wine on the way home from work.

    

Drunken Midget

   We are right in the midst of the drunken midget stage. Oliver is walking, but still a bit unsteady. He can make it all the way across a room, if nothing gets in his way. Unfortunately life is a cruel mistress and often tests him with all sorts of things: carpet, toys, the dog, the cat, and the worst beast of them all, gravity. Sometimes I wonder if Oliver's large head causes some of this gravity issues, that giant dome must be heavy. Slowly and surely he makes progress. Crawling is still faster, but walking allows freedom of the hands to carry important stuff, like a wooden spoon and the remote control. All this walking does set my mind at ease however, I was getting a bit stressed about him being able to walk by the end of August. That was the deadline for him to be able to enter his new daycare. But I think he's got it in the bag now.

With Daddy on Father's Day.

   There are lots of new words too. I will try to list all of them. He knows the dog's name and one of the cat's names. He can say kitty and meow. "Bubble" is a favorite word, not only because he LOVES bubbles, but I think he has attached that word to anything he wants to play with. I think he does a similar thing with the word Daddy. He calls Easan daddy, but I also have witnessed him calling other men daddy. I do think he knows the difference between Easan and the random glumpy dude walking his dog past our house, but he hasn't learned how to say "mope" or "that guy's got nothin' goin' for him." (That was a shout out to my dad and his famous sayings.) He can also say water and banana, but those sound more like "wawa" and "nana." Easan cautions me about repeating his incorrect pronunciations back to him, something about how kids don't end up learning the correct words for a long time when their parents do that, and it apparently tears gaping ignorant holes in the fabric of our language. Linguistics nerds, what can I say?

Got to see his favorite animal at the zoo.

   Oliver also knows an impressive library of animal sounds. His favorite is the elephant which involves a spitting noise and waving your arm like a trunk. Tigers, lions, bears, sharks and most other predators make a whispered roaring noise. Cats say "mao mao,"  dogs say "arf arf," ducks say "ah ah ah." Wolves howl, birds tweet, mice squeak, lobsters and crabs make pinchy motions with their hands, roosters and other birds squawk and sheep say BAA. We go through the animal book every damn day. The kid has it down. 

   The kid is doing so much cute stuff I could go on all day. He blows kisses, gives high fives, and dances. Oh man, the baby dancing is just rad. Sometimes when he's feeling funky he will stomp his foot, sometimes he waves his arms, and sometimes he will do an awesome pelvic thrust combined with an arm in the air. That one is my favorite.

   

Talking, Walking and Teeth

   

Ahh the freedom of a bike! Oliver loves
the feeling of the wind in his hair.

   The last few weeks have been all about talking, walking and teething. Doing all three at the same time makes for some exciting and exhausting days. I don't know how the teachers at daycare do it. Oliver isn't quite able to walk yet, but he has started to cruise and works at it every single minute of the day. He pulls up on everything and has mastered the smooth transition from standing to sitting back down, well most of the time. He is starting to move along furniture and is growing his confidence. Yesterday I watched him go from the ottoman to the coffee table, a move that involved an unassisted rotation. I also saw him attempt to stand up from a sitting position without holding on to anything. He made it up wobbled then plopped on his butt. I am so proud of his progress. I anticipate independent steps soon!

   Talking is taking off all of a sudden too. Just in the past few weeks Oliver has discovered a whole world of new sounds. He rattles them off in entire sentences of gibberish. You can tell he is experimenting with his new words. He is curious about everything too, he points at everything and says "dat? dat?" Sometimes your answer will amuse him inexplicably. Last night while we were getting him ready for bed we were putting on his Elmos pajamas. He really like his elmo jams and mostly just wants to hold them and point at them, rather than wearing them. This time however, he was saying "Meh-mo! Meh-mo!" So it is official, at 13 months, Oliver can say Elmo.

    If those two things aren't big enough, to go along with it Oliver is working on some new teeth. I'm still not sure which ones are coming in, but I am suspecting it's either the canines or maybe one of the early molars. These suckers have been brutal. Poor little guy is IN PAIN. He is having trouble eating, and often furiously spits out whatever he is eating and CRIES. As a result he hasn't been eating much, and is even fussy when nursing. Last week he got an ear infection which sometimes comes with new teeth, and this week his diaper rash has inexplicable gotten really bad. Poor thing, not only does his mouth hurt but his butt is super red and itchy. I've been told the canines are hard core when they come in and they take a while too, so I am thinking that may be what is going on. Either way, I hope it eases up soon and gives him a little break. The kid has so much going on already!

Oliver's First Birthday Bash!

The cupcake toppers!

    My sweet little man turned one on May 6th. We threw him a birthday party on Saturday, May 4th at the Vineyard. We invited family and a few friends who had kids Oliver's age. I printed some cute party decor with a woodland animal theme. Instead of little hats we had little cut out ears. Oliver wore his 3-piece seer-sucker suit with bow tie. He got tons of presents, but was mostly impressed with the wrapping paper. We let him try a cupcake but I think he was a little overwhelmed by the singing and sugar. See for yourself!

Ladies, I'm serious AND available.

You've never seen a bunny in a suit?

All the other guests were girls, Oliver has a promising future.

"Hey! Check out these Duplo!"

"They are the perfect size for my mouth."

I'm a bear.

I like this girl's yellow pants.

Cutie pie Teagan!

Easan's mom knitted him a beautiful blanket.

It's my party and I'm gonna cry.

"Does this hat match my suit?"

"This will work perfectly when I go raiding this winter."

"Thanks Grandpa Bill!"

Friend Penny showing Oliver how to walk.

Not sure about this cupcake, but the hat brings confidence.

Good party mama, time for my blanket and a bink.

Oliver the Night Owl

   Ever since Oliver has become mobile there have been some funny night time happenings. Before when he would wake up in the middle of the night he would just lay there and cry until attended to. Now he actually gets up and plays around in his crib. Often he doesn't make much noise so sometimes I wonder how long he was awake before I noticed. I guess if he is happy then it isn't really a problem. He hasn't quite figured out that he can just lay back down and go to sleep without my help yet, hopefully that happens soon.
    The other night after we put Oliver down for his regular bed time at 7pm, I went to visit my friend. While I was gone and Easan was watching him, Oliver stayed awake for another hour and a half playing in his crib. Crawling around the crib, clapping his hands, laughing at stuff, shaking the bars of the crib, snuggling his blanket. We can see all of this on the video monitor. The camera for the monitor is attached to the top rail of the crib with zip ties. Then something adorable happened. Easan got it all on tape:

Oliver Update

    Since I am a terrible blogger who can't manage to write anything down more than once every few months, I have decided that instead of trying to be witty and creative and thinking up specific topics for blog posts I am just going to use it as a way to chronicle Oliver's childhood. That is what I intended this blog to be in the beginning and I think I got a bit ahead of myself trying to be all writerly about it. Yes I did just make up a word.

     Lots has happened that I feel the need to document so i don't forget it later. I am just going to list them to avoid the previous writer problem.

• Teeth - Oliver now has six teeth. Four on top and two on bottom. He got the bottom two first and at the exact same time when he was 8 months old. I remember right before we went on the cruise in January he sprouted the little suckers. Then he got three at the same time on top. The left middle one, the left incisor and the right incisor. For some reason the right middle one (also called an incisor, I just looked it up) got skipped at first. Not long after those three erupted the right middle came along too. Those top three happened when he was ten months old. Also, they are crooked. 
• Crawling - Oliver has started crawling at 11 months old. The first day he crawled on his own was April 13th 2013. He was home with daddy while I was at Aunt Priya's wedding shower. After that he can't be stopped. He doesn't crawl in the traditional way but sticks his leg out like a kick stand.

Eating a Bean

• Food - Oliver is eating all sorts of things now. He still eats some of the pureed stuff but mostly as a way to get veggies in him without him choking. He loves starches and is all about pasta, rice, breads, tortillas, and any kind of baked goods. He loves beans especially black beans and kidney beans. For a while he was eating so many kidney beans that we started calling them Bugga Beans. He has backed off those a bit however. He hates yogurt, which is strange because he loved it for a week and then changed his mind. Any kind of food he doesn't like he gets angry at and tries to hit off of his tray. It is quite amusing. He loves fruit, Easan calls him his little fruit bat cause he downs bananas and grapes so enthusiastically. I make fruit purees for him to mix with cereal of just eat plain. Also, peas for some reason peas are a winner. When he won't eat any other veggie you can always fall back on peas. I have started mixing spinach in with the pea puree to get some more nutrients and he digs that too.
• Hair - still not much hair, but the stuff he does have is getting longer. He gets awesome little curly wings on the sides and sometimes the top curls up too. 
• Talking - He is doing lots of talking. Not much of it is very understandable but I feel like he converses a lot in his own way. We are pretty sure his first word was Duck, he started saying that about 8 months. He also says "vroom" when playing with cars, he knows that dogs say "oof oof oof" and cats make a high pitch squealing noise. When he drops something he says "UH OH!" and he also likes to point at things and say "whats that?" Except it sounds more like "uts dat?" The question is more rhetorical than actual I think. He of course can say Dada and Mama. Other than those words there is lots of chatter that is not distinguishable yet. He will respond when you ask him stuff and he is loving to exercise his vocal cords with a lot of screeching. One of the games he thinks is absolutely hilarious is the back and forth mimic game. He will make a little high pitched squeak then you copy it, he laughs then does it again. This can go on for a good long time and sometimes devolves into tickling and raspberry blowing on the belly.

Those are some of the major updates that I have happened in the last few months. I feel less anxious now that they are recorded. My head is a bad place for these precious memories...