Oliver's First Christmas

Oliver is in the Christmas spirit.

   Christmas this year has taken on new meaning for us. Oliver is seven months old and although I know he won't remember it, it has special meaning for me and Easan. Christmas has always been a time to hang out with family, exchange gifts, drink too much wine and play silly games that end up in vulgar hilarity. The holiday traditions for me start with my mom's Christmas tree. She always puts up the most amazing tree. It is huge, sparkling with lights and dripping with ornaments. My mom was super thoughtful and collected ornaments for me since I was little, so I have a great selection for decorating my own tree. This year I wasn't really in the mood for a tree. Our living room is overflowing with baby stuff and I didn't want to add another thing I would have to clean up after. When I told Easan I didn't want a tree he indignantly exclaimed "But we HAVE to! For OLIVER!" I didn't realize he felt so strongly about it. I relented and we got a tree the next weekend. 

Mom would only let me chew
the soft ornaments

   Decorating the tree with Easan and Oliver was a great afternoon. Easan is usually a huge scrooge about Christmas stuff. He had me cracking up after one vehement rant about christmas scents: "What is the deal with all the damn Christmas smells? NO ONE LIKES CINAMMON, OR GINGERBREAD, OR PUMPKIN SPICE!!!" Well I guess the christmas industry had it wrong all these years. After I accused him of being a scrooge about Christmas, he bought his nieces advent calendars and exclaimed "SEE! I'm  FUN! I bought advent calendars!" Let the good times roll. 
    Anyway, in a completely uncharacteristically festive mood, Easan put on some christmas music and was helping me decorate the tree. "Whats with the music? I thought you hated Christmas music." I asked him. He declared that since it was Oliver's first christmas, it was a different and that he could tolerate some christmas songs. He did have to sing along, changing all the lyrics to be inappropriate and usually about farts. Christmas fart songs always get you in the holiday spirit.  

Every little kid needs an Elmo

We spent Christmas Day at Grandma and Grandpa Selvan's house with the entire Selvan clan. It was fairly chaotic with twelve people and a mountain of presents. Poor Little Oliver was fighting an ear infection so he had a bit of a rough day. After it all I was thinking about Christmas with a baby and how it all seems more important now. Being with family sometimes feels like an obligation as an adult. But now that I am responsible for the healthy development of a tiny yet awesome human I realize that it is about building a foundation. These people are part of his foundation and spending the holidays together creates some of his earliest and strongest memories. I know in years to come there will be lots more kids (not all mine) and that means a whole chorus of fart songs. Strong foundations, that's what it is all about. 

Wrapping paper tubes make great swords

The Travel Challenge Part One: Driving to Denver

   Our first vacation with Oliver was a week long trip to Denver. We not only drove to Denver but we also stayed in a hotel for a week. I was a little nervous about the car ride because it was eight hours totally dependent on the whims of an infant. Oliver is an extremely laid back kid and tends to handle new things well so I put my faith in his ability to keep his cool. My confidence in him was rewarded. He did great and seemed to enjoy all the new experiences.

   The car trip started off well, we left in the morning and Oliver immediately fell asleep. He slept for two hours. Easan and I were able to sit up front together and talk and tick away those miles. He woke up when we stopped and I changed him and tried to nurse him. He wasn't too into nursing in the car, so I plugged in my pump (love having a car with a regular plug in the back seat) and pumped a bottle for him. He drank the whole bottle no problem. After that, I didn't even try to nurse him in the car, just pumped a bottle and fed him in his seat. That way Easan could drive and we wouldn't lose any time. We took turns sitting in the back with him, playing with toys, watching Sesame Street on the tablet and playing peek-a-boo with the blanket. Easan is particularly masterful at peek-a-boo. He started getting a little cranky as we arrived at the city limits of Denver. It had been eight hours of driving and the kid doesn't get cranky until the very end? Not too bad.

Ready to hit the town in Denver.

 We stayed in a Hotel downtown for the entire week. Funny the things you get nervous about and the things that don't even phase you. I was all worried about the drive, but the thought of sharing a hotel room with an infant for a week didn't even occur to me as a bad idea. A friend said something about it right before we left, but it was too late to change our plans. Luckily, Oliver did great once again. He slept in the pack-and-play just fine even when the light was still on and Easan and I were still awake watching TV.  And he didn't really cry at night, much to the relief of our neighbors. The cutest thing about staying in a hotel with a baby is how he became a little celebrity. As one valet eloquently put it "Damn! That's a cute-ass baby!" Everyone loved to see him and he drew lots of attention every time we brought him with us to the hotel bar's happy hour. Yes we brought our baby to the bar for a drink. We couldn't leave him in the room!

Oliver met a shark!

Denver was a blast, Oliver and I went to the Aquarium, the zoo, the Museum of Science and Nature and the Denver Art Museum. I think he most enjoyed the aquarium and the art museum. The aquarium was full of exhibits that surrounded you on all sides which he seemed intrigued by. Unfortunately, it was also full of really loud little kids who at one point made him cry. the jerks! The zoo may have been a little advanced for him, he didn't seem to register many of the animals, except for the Monkey Island exhibit. There were all kinds of monkeys running all over the place and they kinda looked like kitties. Oliver was intrigued. 

One happy guy even after eight hours of driving.

   The drive home was even better than the drive there. Oliver was cheerful the entire way back. But the best part of the trip home was when we actually arrived back at our house. Oliver was so excited to be home. When we took him out of the seat, he was looking all around and squealing and kicking his legs. We put him in his jumper and he bounced ecstatically while making happy shrieks. I guess the kid missed his house.
  


 Things I learned about long drives with the kid: distraction and naps all the way.

Daycare Days

   Since mid September Oliver has been going to daycare full time. On a recommendation from a friend, we found a lovely little home daycare run by a fantastic lady named Margaret. She only has three other kids there, one girl and two other boys. All are older than Oliver and as a result he quickly became their baby and gets a lot of attention. Margaret takes great care of him, and is very accommodating to our needs. Primarily, she lets us use cloth diapers and doesn't mind me coming over the lunch hour to nurse. 
   I wasn't sure how I was going to feel about daycare. I was very lucky to be able to keep Oliver with me for the first four months. Most moms are not so lucky. I was a little worried about his transition with things like napping and eating. He really didn't take a bottle well and was exclusively breast fed, so I was worried he wouldn't eat for her. Also, his napping schedule was really random, but that wasn't really a problem when he was with me, but how would it work in a daycare full of noisy toddlers? But in addition to those questions, I worried how I would handle the transition. Oliver is the most important person in my life and I spend most of my time thinking about him or at least in the back of my mind. I chafed at the idea that someone else gets to spend all of his waking hours with him, and all I got were the few hours after work when he was usually at his crankiest. It didn't seem fair. It seemed even less fair when I discovered that the majority of first world countries gave many more months of maternity leave than the US does, and it is paid or at least partially subsidized. I worried that he would like Margaret more than me, and she would be the one to see all his first moments. 

Anders and Oliver

   Luckily, Margaret was well versed in dealing with parents. I am sure the parent's issues are often worse than the kids. She was very calm and reassuring, but at the same time not coddling. She assured me she would call if Oliver were inconsolable at all. Of course she never had to call. Oliver did great. In fact, I can securely say he LOVES daycare. He has so much fun and has taken to the other kids. Now when he is at home with me on weekends, sometimes I feel like he is bored. Daycare has better toys and more friends. He has become besties with one of the little boys named Anders. Anders called Oliver MY baby, with emphasis on the MY. He always runs to see him when I show up in the morning, and climbs up on a stool to peer in at him in the car seat. He brings him toys during the day, and is very gentle when replacing his bink if it falls out or is snatched out by another kid. Why are other kids fascinated with babies' pacifiers? This seems to be true at least with all the kids Oliver and I have encountered. 
   Flash forward: it has been almost three months of daycare and I realize that I have very different feelings about it now. I love that Oliver gets to be with other kids and do neat things every day. I probably wouldn't be nearly as stimulating and entertaining for him if I were a stay at home mom. At least I would really have to step up my game and figure out activities and play dates every day and I am WAY too lazy for that. I also no longer worry that he will forget me, or like Margaret more. I understand that I am not the ONLY person in his life, and he can like others and still love me. And there is one thing that I have that no one else has, the almighty boob. I am still breastfeeding Oliver on a regular basis and that role can't be supplanted. 
   The other neat result of daycare is my fondness for Margaret. Since I go there at lunch to nurse Oliver, I see her a lot and we chat about things. She is very knowledgeable about children, was trained as a midwife and is generally a very down to earth hippy-type like me. She is kind and thoughtful and I know she genuinely cares about Oliver and is happy to see him every day. I look forward to seeing her too and feel very lucky to have such a person filling that role in Oliver's life. 

How long has it been?

   I am officially the worst blogger ever. I kept meaning to write a new post, and here it is like four months later? Time sure flies when you have an infant. So here is a whirlwind catch up post on Oliver. He is now almost SEVEN months old! At his last weigh in he was 19 pounds. Still bald. Eating solids. Sitting up on his own. Still not sleeping through the night. But most importantly, he is a really happy dude. Just look at him in this bin! How is it possible to be that happy in a bin? It is my firm goal to write a couple posts about some of the things we have done in the past few months. Specifically: eating new foods, traveling, and daycare. 
Life with Oliver is super fun!